The Quote -

"Nope, I don't really have anything new to say. but then, I always have something amazing to tell about things that you already know!!"

-Muthu

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Saving the Sun – A short story.

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 30; the thirtieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
The Following fiction won the Silver at Blog-a-ton 30. A warm thanks for everyone who voted for the same.


The Snap-





The fiction-

“Papa papa, the sun is drowning….. The sun is drowning…”

Shouted the small girl as she came in tears, her outstretched hands searching for him. Her pink frock peppered with wet sand tussled around making way for her tiny feet scrambling forward. Her tussled hair swayed around, flirting with the roaming swirls of wind.

He bent down to greet his five year old, his calm fluid gaze meeting capturing her exquisite child eyes. Eyes that right now were filled with concern, a whole hearted concern tinged with passion, an intense burning passion, a kid’s passion held with all the abandonment in the world. Her voice tumbled out of her in parts, not waiting for her to get her breath back.

“Papa….. Papa…….. The sun’s drowning. The sun ………. drowning”

She paused and raised her tiny arms towards the coast.

“We need to do something.” She turned and looked at him. “Don’t we??”

He moved a few loose strands of hair away from her eyes and stuffed them in her easy braids, dried her tears in his neatly pressed shirt sleeves, lifted her of her chubby feet and started to walk following her hand’s direction.

The evening beach was a multitude of activity. A few late joggers plodding across the sand, quite a few bunches of kids playing, some along the coast running with the waves, a few industrious ones building sand castles, some just chasing each other, a few teens playing football with the goal posts marked in sand, people just sitting, relaxing taking in the dusk, it’s simmering colors washing along each rushing wave’s frolic and froth, ample echoes of laughter and joy mixing with the warm wind and it’s moisture laden fingers, the beach was brimming with life spilling at its seams.

And amidst them, he reached to where his daughter was leading him; a few teenagers sitting around in the waves, joking among themselves, laughing at the world, at themselves, at anything and everything, that picked their flight of fancy. Their pretty beach shirts stood out, vibrant and playful, a bold display of their gay and festive mood. They turned around just in time to see the girl say in her voice laden with anxiety.

“Look papa…… The sun’s drowning. It’s sinking, sinking slowly into water”

The youngsters sitting around started to laugh, seeing that their prank on the kid was working just fine. One of them teased.

“A sad day indeed, for the sun to drown.” A few wild guffaws followed.

The kid shouted back. “I have brought my father.”

“Oh Really!! And what’s he going to do.” They challenged back her innocent claim.

“He will save the sun.” his daughter’s chirpy voice sounded firm and decided.

He looked across at the shimmering expanse of water. The sun was indeed in its last phase of the day’s travel. A shower of orange hews silhouetting the world against itself, a lavish splash of shadows running along the line of the coast. The last embers of the sun’s ring were resonating from the other end of the horizon, from its drowning depths perhaps.

He looked at the people teasing his daughter and herself stout & defiant making her stand against them, holding on firmly to him. He couldn’t help but smile to himself and iterate to her in a calm voice.

“Yes, my girl we will save the sun.”

He calmly looked around at everyone laughing and repeated the same slowly, tasting each and every syllable, relishing at the mighty sound of its absurd claim.

“Yes, my girl we will save the sun.”

“But, how shall we do it??” he quizzed her.

His daughter replied determined. “Lasso it papa……”

“Like wonder women”

“Yes papa”

“Hmhm……. For that, we need to bring the sun closer to us, to reach out and lasso it.” He paused thoughtfully for a few seconds. “What we will do is dig a large pit here, so that the water will flow towards us, creating a slant and the sun will roll towards us along with the flowing water and then we will get a chance to lasso it, once we get it near enough. Okay” He asked her.

His daughter hanging on to each and every word of his, his confidence, his easy charisma voiced his full consent. “Okay Papa, we do it.”

He settled her down, loosened his tie, rolled his shirt cuffs and pants and set down digging with his bare hands. His hard fingers furrowing through wet sand, shoveled up large wet lumps of earth with each and every hearty scoop. His daughter joined him at his side moving the earth her father’s digging up away from falling again into the pit.

At first they laughed. The youngsters who pulled the sun’s drowning prank on the kid stood around the toiling father and daughter and laughed heartily. A few even teased. Harsh comments on the silly charade. And then after a few minutes, they simply stood there, witnessing this strange spectacle.

A crowd started to gather.

All the small kids playing nearby joined in the effort, their laughter splaying over the wet sand, just for the fun’s sake; Someone who was building castles nearby supplied with a few bucket and small plastic shovels; People gathered entranced by the sight; stood around captivated by the strangeness of the tall tale; A father and daughter trying to drain the sea in an effort to roll over the sun towards them, so as to lasso it and save it from drowning; Utter ludicrous; a preposterous attempt to pacify a kid; a grown man behaving like a raving kid;

Many just stood gaping at the effort the father was working up with his daughter, the multitude of wet sand flying in all the direction, the pit growing in leaps and bounds with each and every passing second, the sheets of water rushing into the pit, the unfaltering faith that the kid showed on her father, half her anxious eyes set on the drowning sun, half on her valiant effort, her small hands going about their formidable quest, the sun ever so slowly sinking, gently suffocated and smothered by the expanse of blue water despite all their herculean efforts.

“Papa…. It’s gone.” Her voice wavered. “It’s …….. gone.”

Everybody fell silent.

Her father sat down exhausted, looking at the rapidly darkening horizon, an empty horizon, his breath still coming in spurts with all the hard physical work.

“We have to do something papa” she shouted, her voice broken and shrill.

All around, people stood stupefied. Not knowing what to do, not knowing how to confront the honest chagrin in her voice, not knowing how to explain to her it’s all but a ruse to have fun on her innocence.

He stared ahead thoughtfully and said. “It did not work.”

His daughter nodded; her eyes still staunch, too stubborn to cry, to whimper.

“Are we going to give up” He asked, touching her flushed cheeks with his fingers.

“No” she shouted back with an animal ferocity. “No, we are not going to give up”

“Good” he said calmly nodding. “There is always another chance.”

His daughter looked at him, each and every single of his words etched into the solidness of her heart. Nobody in the crowd dared to breath. A few last passing sea gulls were heard, their cries clear reaching out to their fledglings. Even the kids playing with the sand stopped to listen. Parents, teenagers, joggers, picnickers, people who were just relaxing, A couple of old men in their evening walks, each and every one of the motley group that had gathered leaned forward, not wanting to miss anything, anything at all.

The kid’s father continued. “The earth, in fact is round, we can go in the opposite direction and save the sun from drowning from the other side” He paused waiting for his daughter’s reply.

She stood up from her father’s lap, pulled him up, dusted the sand off him with her tiny hands and said in an urgent voice “papa… Let’s hurry.”

And as the crowd slowly parted, allowing the couple to continue on their adventure, the kid stopped.

“One minute papa….” she told her father and turned back and went straight to the teenager who first put her to saving the sun and said in a clear crisp voice.

“I will save the sun.”

And then the father and daughter left, their walk vigorous, unfaltering, towards the sun.


And yes, for those who are still wondering, on whether they saved the sun or not, rush out and see the rising sun. If you look close enough, rally hard enough you might notice the lasso around the corner of the mighty sun and the sun itself being slowly pulled out of the distant horizon. And of course the father and daughter, if you are lucky enough.





 Author's note-

I loved thinking up and writing this story. I am thankful for the image and Blog-a-ton for putting me up to this.  And this story is for my sister, who is always the first to hear all my flights of fantasy. 
PS-

If you loved this short story- then you might want to try reading another one of my similar story - The spring. Both are strongly dependent on nature to bring out the theme of the fiction. 
Have a great day. :)




The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. I’m thankful to BLOGGER NAME, who introduced Blog-a-Ton to me, and I debuted in XX edition.
Credits Image - Shades of Orange by Harsha Chittar Courtesy - Curious Dino Photography via www.blogaton.in

60 comments:

Menachery said...

You know what i actually went and checked the picture for the lasso :P ... I must add its a beautiful story , i loved the way you have described the relation shared between the father and daughter, and my heart goes out to the trust the girl has in her dad, and his efforts as well....

ATB for BAT

C. Suresh said...

Lovely depiction of the father-daughter bond

Scorpio said...

Really nice story!!
ATB for BAT :)

Deepa said...

Very cute father-daughter relation etched! I like how you have shown the father being a superhero for his daughter, someone who can do anything! even save the sun! Every daughter does feel that way :)

Karan Shah said...

this shows why the first hero in a girls life is always her father

very well written
best wishes for BAT :)

Kappu said...

“I will save the sun.”

So CUTE!!! Thats a lovely father and child! ;) Thanks for thinking up this story!

Do stop by my blog! Cheers - Kappu

muthu said...

@ Menachery --

Yeah, I too loved writing up their interactions. And think we all trust our parents- esp as kids. :)

muthu said...

@ C. Suresh --

Glad you thought so.

muthu said...

@ Scorpio --

:)

muthu said...

@ Deepa --

Yeah, Rightly said. After all not all super heroes have to wear capes!!

muthu said...

@ Karan Shah --

Thank you...

muthu said...

@ Kappu --

Thank you for that comment.(I don't know why- a thank you from a reader gets to me) I, myself was inspired by this story. Hope you enjoyed it. :)

Apala Sengupta said...

"Look papa…… The sun’s drowning. It’s sinking, sinking slowly into water"


This is the sweetest thing i have ever read! I could almost visualise the dad-daughter duo trying to lasso the sun to save it!

All in all, lovely thought, with lovely words :)

muthu said...

@ Apala Sengupta --

Kids are always cute. hmhm - I think not just cute, kids constitute the best of what human beings are made of.

justanotherwakeupcall said...

what a sweet story! It takes a rare person to be so in empathy with a kid. I wish i could be half the parent your story's dad is. lovely, inspiring read . ATB

muthu said...

@ justanotherwakeupcall --

Thank you. I think everybody wants to be that guy who wants to save the day for the kid. Its just that our social sense does not permit extravagant gestures.

Manasa said...

i loved the way she went back and said..i will save the sun!
Muthu ,you have a way with stories..dont ever stop weaving them!

Deepa said...

I was now reading all the entries again since its voting time - earlier I had just skimmed over some and not read all posts - must say this again, brilliant imagination and creativity! I could visualize it happening before my eyes! No wonder every girl's hero is her Dad!

muthu said...

@ Manasa --

Thank you- I love creating unexpected ending that have a lot of drama.

And yes- I will continue weaving them. :)

muthu said...

@ Deepa --

I am glad you think that way. :)

Rachna said...

I enjoyed the story and the childlike enthusiasm of the girl.

muthu said...

@ Rachna --

:) same here....

nan said...

As always .. The narration stands out .. :) Kudos !

muthu said...

@ nan -

:) thanks-

Leo said...

Beautiful narration, and you get such a calm feeling when it's about the relationship between father and child. Lovely :)

All the Best for Blog-a-Ton.

Leo - My Blog-a-Ton Story

muthu said...

@ Leo --

:)

Panchali said...

I loved this little girl..and the chase!
- awed and spell bound! yes a mere superficial glance does not do justice to a landscape- there is so much life quivering under cover and overt as well!
Enjoyed very much!

muthu said...

@ Panchali --

Glad you enjoyed it.

jaish_vats said...

Hi muthu

What a sweet story depicting the innocence of childhood and the responsibilities of parents to instill belief in their wards . Awesome !

muthu said...

@ jaish_vats --

:) -- thanks.

Nirvana said...

Lovely story! And beautifully narrated!

muthu said...

@ Nirvana --

Thanks... :)

ashzzes said...

this is indeed a lovely story.
liked it a lot! :D
wonderful !!!

muthu said...

@ ashzzes --

Thanks.. :)

Neha said...

tat was a lovely story n immensely enjoyed d narration:-)

muthu said...

@ Neha --

Thanks... :)

Yatin Khurana said...

you're awesome buddy!!

this story had a heart, a big one!!

to be frank i just loved it, i also read The spring
and i love that song there!! i am learning it

and when you said go out and look for that sun, i feel sad 'coz i read in the evening, else i would surely had been in the balcony checking it.

a small disappointment, the paras where he asks the daughter to go around the world, to the other side

those paras were less clear to me.
i don't know why but they were not convincing (to me)

muthu said...

@ Yatin Khurana ---

Thanks a lot buddy. And yeah, the father suggesting to the kid that they can go around the world to catch the sun, I wanted the ending to be pretty much over the top---- Something that the daughter alone can fathom.

I wanted the father to suggest the idea and the girl to be the one who would rise up to it.

Yeah, its the most illogical idea but the girl wants to save the sun and the father's helping her. An illogical question had to have the same kind of answer.

That's why i felt it appropriate for the girl to confront the guy who first teased her.

Yeah, I could have pit more convincing reply's by the father but I wanted him to be blunt to his daughter when asking whether they would be giving up.

The kid needs to take the reins of the challenge from her father, that initially was the father's aim when he went along with his kid.

I think it's the dream of any father to see his kid standing up for himself. May be- I could add a line--- saying the proud father lead the daughter towards the sun...

What say??

clouds said...

awww......wat a lovely read it was :)

Gud luck for BAT.

Do stop-by to read the CHIAROSCURO OF LIFE - Clouds

muthu said...

@ clouds -

:)

Kshitij said...

Oh beautiful! I love the father here. I think he doesn't have much clue as to how this will end... but he is enjoying the journey with his daughter.

A very lovely story. The ending had me wanting for more. I was glued throughout... probably waiting for a great ending... but this one's about the journey... and not the end!

muthu said...

@ Kshitij --

yeah, I think that being a great father is one of the most exhilarating things for a guy.

Yeah, If the journey is beautiful, the destination is just another stop to start the journey again, What say?

Loved your comment. & thanks for visiting my blog. :)

Someone is Special said...

I'm not sure what to type here muthu at least in which language, Tamil or English???

மிக அழகு!!!!

I think your sister is lucky to hear all these stories.. Keep writing.. :)

Do update blogger name here, "I’m thankful to BLOGGER NAME, who introduced Blog-a-Ton to me"

Someone is Special

muthu said...

@ Someone is Special -

I think It's the first time someone has given me a compliment in Tamil - a language I love. Thanks a lot.

Well, I am lucky to have to her, to put up with my insanity. :)

And, Nobody introduced Blog-a-ton to me. I saw the web-page when I was casually browsing, that's why I left it just like that.

Cheers. :)

Someone is Special said...

:) Happy to do that.. Congrats on the well deserved win.. Keep writing.. Keep winning..

Someone is Special

muthu said...

@ Someone is Special -

Thanks again & Cheers!!

D.Nambiar said...

Wow! that was engaging, Muthu. Well written too. Might I add -- I like the story and the characters and the ending too. Keep up the good work.

muthu said...

@ D.Nambiar --

Thanks.. I myself loved creating the daughter, father and their relationship. Something about parenting always gets to me. :)

D.Nambiar said...

That was excellent.
Idhu ungalku http://dnambiar11.blogspot.com/2012/08/tagged.html
Happy Friday.

muthu said...

@ D.Nambiar --

Thanks. Wow- Quite some questions you have tagged to me.

hmhmhm.... Ok will do them- just give me some time. :)

sudha...a touch of madness said...

The story has been praised enough so I won't go into it. The story telling is what I want to go ga-ga over on. There's no way somebody can just skim through your story. The length notwithstanding, each and every sentence of this tale should make your readers want to go on till the last line. Your prose is lyrical, poetic...dripping with sweetness..I dunno how to describe it. There's a flow, a rythm and it makes for a swell read. I went through a few other posts and I'm delighted to have discovered your blog.
keep it up :)

muthu said...

@ sudha...a touch of madness --

Thanks a lot. Likewise, I am delighted to have you here.

Cheers. :)

Fox said...

Lovely depiction of the father-daughter bond

muthu said...

@ Fox ---

Thanks a lot for your comments.

Welcome to my blog. Hope to see you more ..

& happy reading... :)

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